How hard is it to say no? Apparently it’s very hard.
Some cultures make a point to never say no, leaving a visitor to interpret what variation of “yes,” “of course,” or “maybe,” in fact, means “No. Never. Not going to happen.”
From work to romance to friendship and everything in between, the only definite refusal some people can muster is to die. That’s inefficient and messy. It’s also very final.
I propose a cleaner, reusable method. One that is so simple it can be configured for every language and every person on the planet. Whether you are the rejector or the rejected, you will be relieved of the burden of uncertainty.
The Ain’t Gonna Happen App
The app has no bells, no whistles, no real features; it does just one thing: delivers a rejection to the recipient of your choice.
Here’s how it could work. The refuser puts the name by which they are known to the recipient. The refuser then enters the recipient’s name and method of contact.
Next there are just two options from which to choose.
Option 1: The Basic Wet Blanket
Rejectee receives an email, text or voice mail that simply says “No. That thing that you and I discussed? Not gonna happen.”
Option 2: The Clarifier
Recipient receives an email, text or voice mail that says “No,” followed by a free text field for instances where the refuser feels the need to specify what is being rejected.
For instance: “No, I will not marry you.” “No, we are not hiring you.” “No. I don’t have $20 for you.”
By design the free text field allows only 40 characters. This is to avoid ambiguity or leaving a door open to discuss further.
The app’s natural language processing will weed out any words in the free text field that appear to be related to regret. Words like “sorry,” “apologies,” “I feel bad,” “but,” will be replaced by meaningless dashes.
In both cases, there is no path for the rejected to reply to the rejector. Once sent that is the end of the entire transaction.
Who Needs It?
If you are the sort who cannot say no, you may think this app is cold and heartless.
It may surprise and relieve you, however, to learn that most of us don’t mind to hear a rejection. Really; don’t flatter yourself into thinking that our lives, happiness, future, hopes, health or day rely upon you alone. Of course, we may prefer to hear a positive response to a request, but we also want to move on with our lives. If you could just admit that it’s not happening, we might be sad, we might be mad, but at least we’d know. A definite response is a gift.
So, in that case, the person who needs this app the most could be the receiver.
On the other hand, the person who needs this app the most, could be the refuser. An app that takes on the heavy lift of rejection is an antidote to those of us who suffer from non-confrontational syndrome. Think of the freedom to just press a button that alerts another to your difficult news: “No.”
“No. We’re not attending the baptism.”
“No. I won’t water your plants.”
“No. You didn’t win the job.”
“No. I won’t build your app.”
Or simply: “No.”
What a relief to get it out there in the world.
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Asa Franz
